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To Be A Better Woman... (Happy Belated Valentine's Day)

2/19/2013

14 Comments

 

...or to be better at BEING a woman.
I do believe there is a difference.

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Yes, it is that time of year at which I reflect on myself as a female and as a human being. Perhaps my "celebration" of Valentine's Day last week helped to bring about this introspective post.


The outfit I am modeling is what I wore to dinner with my partner on Valentine's Day. I'm not fond of surprises, so I was given at least three days notice. This notice consisted of the following: (a) being told to pick something out, (b) being assured that it was not necessary to be super dressed up and (c) being reminded that no matter what I wear, I am a sight for sore eyes. So, armed with these little tidbits, I put together the outfit that is before you. It's partly masculine, partly feminine and 100% yours truly.

There are several new things I want to point out. First, I'm wearing an amazing thrifted blazer that I got last month. I love any and every excuse to wear it. Underneath that is a thrifted menswear inspired black vest which I also adore. Next up are my charcoal grey high waisted shorts that I bought late last year, but never had a good enough reason to wear (it takes a lot of motivation for me to put shorts on, yeah I'm weird). Finally, below that are my thrifted, super thick/comfy over-the-knee leg warmers.

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So, I find myself wondering whether it would have been more appropriate to wear a dress. It seems like Valentine's Day is a dress wearing occasion, no? This leads me to wonder why I don't care much for dresses. From there, I find myself wondering why I don't think about marriage or the "perfect" wedding or white picket fences. I wish that I liked to sew and that I was crafty, because then I could share cool DIY projects. This could make me better at being a woman (and more interesting heh). I wish I liked to bake, because then I could post cute/colorful photos of cupcakes and neat-o recipes. That could make me better at being a woman. It would be a step in that direction. So, why don't I care?

Should I care?

Maybe, it's just not that important to me. Perhaps, I should worry more about being a better woman..at being a better PERSON, than about being good at doing things that women are normally expected to do (with earnest joy). I suppose that I have chosen not to commit to a way of life that is based purely on my gender, but instead I am committed to being the best person, the best woman I can possibly be.

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I certainly don't mean to suggest that there's anything wrong with taking part in and getting joy out of any of the above. I'm not a fan of judging other people or of telling other people what to do and how to behave. I do, however, love to criticize and question myself. It is a worth while exercise and that is all this is: just an intellectual exercise designed to draw me closer to that which defines me as a person.

So, I guess it's OK that I don't like to sew or cook or make crafts or bake or iron. It's OK that I wear a dress once in awhile, but not every chance I can possibly get. As long as I continually endeavor to be good and help others whenever I can, then it's OK. That being said, I suppose you can keep your arrows, Cupid. You don't want to be wasting them on me. I don't believe in girly fairy tales, either. ;P


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I do, however, believe in eating half of a cheese pizza and three halves of three different flavors of cupcakes with chocolate ice cream.
;) Basically, this is my partner's way of trying to cheer me up on February 13 when Cotton stole my grand prize and gave it to my losing competitor.
The box of chocolates is what my partner gave me on Valentine's Day. I love his conscientiousness. He hand picked every single chocolate in that box based on what he knew about me and my particular sweet tooth. I was so embarrassed. I felt too special. If that makes any sense? Anyway, eating all of this stuff did not really make me feel any better, but on the upside, it was delicious. =P


Thrifted - Black Touque (Seoul), Wool Blazer (Swap Group), Vest, Tights & Legwarmers (Swap Group)
ModCloth - Typewriter T-Shirt, Wrist Wamers (Sale) & Black Gloves (Sale)
Forever21 - Heather Grey High Waisted Shorts
TIL Darling - Gold Vintage Bicycle Pendant

VJ Style - Gold Studded Barrel Bag
UrbanOG - Black Lace-up Boots

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14 Comments
Matea link
2/18/2013 06:04:09 pm

I love your look, ist such great mix! Great shirt, bag necklace and those thigts are perfect color for whole outfit!
And chocholates ! ,mmmmm

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Anna
2/19/2013 04:35:00 am

Thank you my dear, Matea! <3 Yes, those chocolates are so delicious. I am still savoring them! :D

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Keit link
2/18/2013 07:43:29 pm

Boyfriend knows the secret to cheering up a woman in distress- FOOD!!!! :D
I think these things you just mentioned (baking,sewing,weddings) are part of the women stereotypes which most of the time are a big load of crap. Most woman don't sew, or care about having the perfect wedding. I agree with you completely, on being a better human being, than a better woman. What does it mean anyway? Being a better woman? Wearing dresses, cooking and cleaning? I don't think sooo! :D
Mmmm cheese pizza...drool
The outfit is freakin amazing, you layer like no other! I have to take note on your layering techniques!

Reply
Anna
2/19/2013 04:40:12 am

Haha. Yes. I love good food. Despite my skinny looks, I am an avid eater. I also work out a lot and I'm an avid runner, so I'm hoping that this will balance out my occasional need to splurge (as I did with the half a pizza and one and a half cupcakes Haha).

I grew up in a conservative Jamaican household where the man is the breadwinner and the woman is the caretaker of the home, basically. So, I had to do all of the cleaning, while my two brothers didn't. I was always reminded that no man will want a woman who cannot cook and care for the home. So, of course, I rebelled in whatever ways I could. I think my family's ideas on this subject have evolved over time, though. My mom isn't pressuring me for grand kids or asking me when I'll get married. Hehe. So this is good.

You are so kind. I've seen MUCH better layering by YOU and other people I follow on Chictopia. I always try to do my best, though. Thank you for seeing that. :D

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Sian link
2/18/2013 11:41:48 pm

Thank you for you lovely comment on my blog I absolutely love the typewrite t shirt so cool :)

Reply
Anna
2/19/2013 04:42:03 am

You're welcome! I've been following you for a few weeks now (albeit mostly silently until recently heh). Your blog is so fun and different!

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Ionela link
2/20/2013 04:13:05 am

that bike on your neck is killing me :) and I just love the fabric of those pants and jacket!

Reply
Anna
2/20/2013 07:36:41 am

Hey! Thank you! Yes, it is one of my all time favorite necklaces! :D

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Aleksandra link
2/20/2013 06:45:46 am

You and your amazing layering! Love, love, love it :) The shirt, amazing.

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Anna
2/20/2013 07:37:23 am

Thank you so much, Alex! <3

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Asilosofy
2/20/2013 08:20:26 pm

The last photo's yummy!
<a href="http://www.asilosofy.com/">http://www.asilosofy.com/</a>

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Anna
2/21/2013 03:46:02 am

:D <3

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Chrissi link
2/23/2013 12:02:22 pm

I love the color of the tights peeking out between the neutral legwarmers and shorts. And you thrifted that blazer? Holy crap, it's perfect! Great find!

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Anna
2/23/2013 01:45:28 pm

Thanks, man! Yeah, I love this blazer something fierce. It's missing a button at the collar, but that's about it. :D

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    Hi! I'm Anna <3

    I'm fond of artistic fashion, esoteric music, retro games (the older the platform, the better), delectable noms, good libations, my Maine Coon, Bonaparte, and my Tabby, Winsome.

    Also, I attended university in Hyogo Prefecture and I am proficient in Japanese.


    もし、あなたは日本語が話せる、あたしに日本語で話て下さい!練習が必要だ!*^_^*
    



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